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Buying a house

grandgeneral — Fri, 17 Aug 2007 16:10:02 GMT

Hello, citizens of bibracte, realtors, and construction workers, as i am now a permanent member of your humble city i wish to buy a house in this city. be it a used pig sty or an archery range, i dont give a damn. so citizens, i wish to join ye in our city, and be a welcome member of your community. this rpg topic will help me build my house. thank ye

The Dueling Grounds behind the Book and Sword Tavern

von Clausewitz — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 21:16:24 GMT

vC - What is all that commotion?

Clerk - Sounds like its coming from the campaign square

vC - I can't hear the clerk-heralds with all that racket.

The SC Justice makes his way to the campaign area and discovers the two senators arguing over a cake.

vC - Look I could care less who ate the cake. But all this racket is making it difficult to hear the clerk-herald recite the constitution.

simple peasant - Its a poisoned cake though

vC - Someone is trying to assassinate a senator already?

sp - No its a mistake in the ingredient list.

Psweet - I didn't eat the cake!

Bismarck - You did too.

P - did not

Bis - did too

P - did not

Bis - quite acting like a child

P - don't call me a child

Bis - quit lying about eating the cake and admit it already

P - don't call me a liar, you ate your own cake

sp - I'm just a simple peasant, but he couldn't have as everyone knows you can't have your cake and eat it too.

P - my honor has been insulted, apologize

Bis - Will not for i have done nothing wrong, coward

P - I am no coward, apologize at once or the consequences will be dire, very dire indeed.

sp - This may get out of hand before to long if this goes on.

vC - Gentlemen, there is but one way to settle this. we could have this simple peasant eat some of the remaining cake and see if it is indeed poisoned...

sp - Um, I have to go muck the fields or plow the pigs or something. I'll see you all later.

vC - or we have a duel.

sp - How can I use this to turn a buck? I'll stick around for this duel thing.

vC - Clerk, bring me the Judicial Clubs of Deciding Serious Issues Between Two Parties.

Bis - What? You expect me to get knocked in the head by him?

P - Sounds good to me.

vC - No I expect each of you to get knocked around a bit and maybe some sense will be implanted into your thick skulls in the process.

Bis - Oh, so I get to take some swings at him?

vC - Yes, but first we must go to the tavern, we don't want this to be considered sanctioned by the government.

*at the tavern a crowd has formed. A simple peasant makes his rounds taking bets.

vC - I have drawn these here lines in the ground. You each will stand here and on the mark you will commence with a single blow to your opponent. Then there will be a return to the lines. The first to get two clean hits on their opponent shall be considered the winner.

Bismarck takes his club and points it menacingly at psweet before taking position at his line resting the club up on his shoulder.

Psweet laughs at Bismarck's gestures, takes his club and stands at his line twirling the club in one hand.

On the mark the two rush to the middle of the circle formed by the curious onlookers and take large arcing swings. The two clubs crash into each other. The resulting vibration shakes the clubs out of both of their hands.

Bis - Mother-son of a goatherd, that hurts.

P - Ouch.

vC - Clerk return the clubs when they have returned to their lines.

Edit - spellcheck

Bizmarckian Times

Bismarck2990 — Wed, 11 Apr 2007 16:22:47 GMT

I've been thinking over the idea of publishing my own little newspaper for the DGame and found it to be sort of cliche'. Thus, I'll be publishing my own little sprite-based comic series instead. Hopefully, I can keep this going actively. It's pretty interesting designing and coming up with these things, so I should be able to get one out every three or so days. No promises though. Anywho, after having said that, here's the opening teaser for the Bizmarckian Times. I'll also create a cast of characters section to avoid any possible confusion before the main strips start getting made.

Who know's you might even appear in one of the comics... :ermm:

[center][img]http://www.civilized.invisionzone.com/comic/comic1.png[/img][/center]

Town Square Topic

Mr. G — Tue, 05 Jun 2007 15:29:58 GMT

G steps out from his hut on the Town Square to find that his beloved village as turned into a bustling city. He starts to quietly think to himself:

What the f*** just happened?!!!!!

But apparently from the looks he got, G realizes that he must have shouted that out loud. Oops.

The Royal Order of the Purple Kilt

HistoryDude — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 14:46:42 GMT

[center][size="+5"][color="#DD33DD"][b]Royal Order[/b][/color][/size][/center]

[center][size="+5"][color="#DD33DD"][b]of the Purple Kilt[/b][/color][/size][/center]

[center][IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/HistoryDude/1BC/ROPKlogo.jpg[/IMG][/center]

The [color="#DD33DD"][b]Royal Order of the Purple Kilt[/b][/color] is a secret fraternity of brothers bounded by insanity, frivolity, and silliness – watchwords that shall ever echo through the empty heads of its honored ranks of lunacy. Through shady shenanigans and zany antics, the brothers of the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Purple Kilt[/b][/color] shall stand strong together, through bad puns and corny jokes!

But such an honor is not easy to achieve. No! It must be earned. Only one prospective member shall be considered at a time. Anyone wishing to enlist in this madcap mayhem must, in this very thread, pledge before all, “I wish to don a kilt of purple!” Then, in the order of pledges, the initiate will be assigned an initiation task from the immediate previous member. As the Grandmaster Blowhard, I shall give the initiation task to the first initiate, who will then assign an initiation task to the next initiate, and so on. Only when the initiation task is completed to the satisfaction of the one who assigned it will the initiate then be inducted into the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Royal Order of the Purple Kilt[/b][/color]. When wearing the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Purple Kilt[/b][/color], the initiate will then enjoy all rights and privileges of the Order – and feel a slight draft. Then he/she will assign an initiation task to the next initiate having stated the proper pledge.

[color="#DD33DD"][b][u]Members of the Order in Good Standing[/u][/b][/color]

[b]Grandmaster Blowhard:[/b] HistoryDude

[b]Vicemaster Blowhard:[/b] von Clausewitz the Sandman

[b]Poobah of the Twill:[/b] Immortal

[b]Holder of the Weft:[/b] Psweetman

[b]Holder of the Warp:[/b] Black Owl the Knarly Roaster

[b]He of the Hairy Legs:[/b] tones the Matchmaker

[b]He of the Boney Knees:[/b] jerm the Bard

[b]Master Goatherder:[/b] Scipio Africanus the Pawn

[b]Shepherd Boy Goatherder:[/b]
[b]Lord of the Riverdance:[/b]

[color="#DD33DD"][b][u]Commendations[/u][/b][/color]

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/HistoryDude/1BC/punstar.jpg[/IMG] [b]The Royal Punstar[/b]

[b]He of the Hairy Legs:[/b] tones the Matchmaker

The Return of the Legion

Mr. G — Sun, 10 Jun 2007 19:15:25 GMT

Inside a goat skined hut two men are seated on logs. They each hold a mug that holds a foamy liquid. These men continue to fill thier mugs as the discusion goes on into the night. The discusion is mostly a series of questions from the weary traveler that are answered by the aging warrior

What is this Legion of Unaffiliated Voters?
The Legion of Unaffiliated voters is for those citizens who don't believe in a forced doctrine. No victory is prefered over another, no government is prefered over another. There will be no set build queues, no set research paths.

What do you offer?
The Legion of Unaffiliated Voters is for those that want to have fun, hence the free beer.

What is required to join?
The Legion of Unaffiliated Voters requires only one thing from its members, that requirement is that they may not join a political party.

But isn't this a political party?
The Legion of Unaffiliated Voters is a party only in the sense that we wear big yellow top hats when we get together. There will be no endorsement of a candidate of any political party.

We get to wear hats?
If you want to join a party with more flexibility in gameplay, less restrictions on thought, and most of all an atmosphere that encourages fun you have come to the right place.

Just sign up below

And so the the traveler signs. The mugs are refilled and hats are put on. dancing girls arrive and it truely becomes a party...

[quote]The List

von Clausewitz
Mr. G
Grishnak01
Zone
Scipio Africanus
psweetman1590
jerm

[/quote]

Sword's Satire Column

swordinthestorm — Fri, 20 Jul 2007 14:15:16 GMT

This is where i shall post all my* Cartoons from now on. I hope to have the time to do them and hopefully the drama will continue to inspire me. i hope to entertain and not to offened and will gladly retract anything that is offensive to anyone**

*(i use the word my loosly as i will only doctor existing cartoons)

**(i hope that doesnt put a stop to the whole thing)

The Cave of the Hermit

McNulty — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 17:51:04 GMT

The cowled figure returns to his dark cave after his first visit to this strange land and its people. He removes the cowl from his leather robe, but the shadows of the cave keep his identity still secret. His hand goes towards an ancient sword with a strange gem on its hilt. The handle of the sword is worn smooth. It has seen much combat. The figure stills on a stone, near a small pool of water.

The Highland Games

Bolan Longpants — Thu, 29 Mar 2007 13:22:43 GMT

My fellow citizens,

Today is the start of a new era. This should be celebrated with some games. I present to you the first 1BC Highland Games.

Six events are part of the Highland Games:

-Caber toss: A long tapered wooden pole or log is stood upright and hoisted by the competitor who balances it vertically holding the smaller end in his hands. Then the competitor runs forward attempting to toss it in such a way that it turns end over end with first, the upper (larger) end striking the ground and then the smaller end, originally held by the athlete, following through and in turn striking the ground in the 12 o'clock position measured relative to the direction of the run. If successful, the athlete is said to have turned the caber. Cabers vary greatly in length, weight, taper, and balance, all of which affect the degree of difficulty in making a successful toss. Competitors are judged on how closely their throws approximate the ideal 12 o'clock toss.

-Stone put: There are two versions of the stone toss events, differing in allowable technique. The "Braemar Stone" uses a 20–26 lb stone for men (13–18 lb for women) and does not allow any run up to the toeboard or "trig" to deliver the stone, i.e., it is a standing put. In the "Open Stone" using a 16–22 lb stone for men (or 8–12 lb for women), the thrower is allowed to use any throwing style so long as the stone is put with one hand with the stone resting cradled in the neck until the moment of release. Most athletes in the open stone event use either the "glide" or the "spin" techniques.

-Hammer throw: In this Scottish event, a round metal ball (weighing 16 or 22 lb for men or 12 or 16 lb for women) is attached to the end of a shaft about 4 feet in length and made out of wood, bamboo, rattan, or plastic. With the feet in a fixed position, the hammer is whirled about one's head and thrown for distance over the shoulder. Hammer throwers sometimes employ specially designed footwear with flat blades to dig into the turf to maintain their balance and resist the centrifugal forces of the implement as it is whirled about the head. This substantially increases the distance attainable in the throw.

-Weight throw also known as the weight for distance event. There are actually two separate events, one using a light (28 lb for men and 14 lb for women) and the other a heavy (56 lb for men, 42 lb for masters men, and 28 lb for women) weight. The weights are made of metal and have a handle attached either directly or by means of a chain. The implement is thrown using one hand only, but otherwise using any technique. Usually a spinning technique is employed. The longest throw wins.

-Weight over the bar: also known as weight for height. The athletes attempt to toss a 56 pound (4 stone) weight with an attached handle over a horizontal bar using only one hand. Each athlete is allowed three attempts at each height. Successful clearance of the height allows the athlete to advance into the next round at a greater height. The competition is determined by the highest successful toss with fewest misses being used to break tie scores.

-Sheaf toss: A bundle of straw (the sheaf) weighing 20 pounds (9 kg) for the men and 10 pounds (4.5 kg) for the women and wrapped in a burlap bag is tossed vertically with a pitchfork over a raised bar much like that used in pole vaulting. The progression and scoring of this event is similar to the Weight Over The Bar. There is significant debate among athletes as to whether the sheaf toss is in fact an authentic Highland event. Some argue it is actually a country fair event, but all agree that it is a great crowd pleaser.

Wanna join? Register in this thread!:D

Participants:

Scipio Africanus
HistoryDude
tones
Zone
BlackOwl
maniacalmonkey
Immortal
General George
Zigeuner
McNulty

The Daffy Draft

HistoryDude — Fri, 30 Mar 2007 22:15:18 GMT

[IMG]http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v292/HistoryDude/1BC/daftydraft.jpg[/IMG]

[center][size="+4"][b]Welcome to The Daffy Draft![/b][/size][/center]

The lodge house of the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Royal Order of the Purple Kilt[/b][/color] is our Brothers' "hut-away-from-hut." Here the zany antics of the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Purple Kilt[/b][/color] shall reign supreme - unhindered by the government, business, or Mary Kaye. Food and drink flow abundantly and the hospitality is unmatched. Of course, the entertainment will become renowned throughout the land!

The Daffy Draft is open to the general public and prospective Initiates, but only members of the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Purple Kilt[/b][/color] in good standing may enjoy its special privileges or take advantage of its discount rates.

Of course each new member, once initiated and accepted into the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Royal Order of the Purple Kilt[/b][/color] shall wear the Noobie Balmoral Cap:

[img]http://www.heritageofscotland.com/pictures/pic41d0509e91549.jpg[/img]

Sit upon the Purple Throne of Honor:

[img]http://www.ourfixerupper.com/wp-content/uploads/2006/06/purpleToilet.jpg[/img]

And then must down the Double Mystery Shot, after toasting, "If'n it's not Scottish, it's crap!"

[img]http://www.crscientific.com/newsletter10-redcabbage3.jpg[/img]

The Double Mystery Shot has different effects on different people (my toenails turned green, I frothed at the mouth constantly, and I had to pee every 15 minutes for the next fortnight). After downing the mysterious drink, once you regain consciousness your fellow Brothers of the [color="#DD33DD"][b]Purple Kilt[/b][/color] will welcome you to the Order and the fun will continue, while you remain on your throne and wear the Noobie Balmoral Cap until the next member is properly initiated!

The Return of Communism and What Democracy is doing about it

grandgeneral — Sun, 08 Jul 2007 12:34:18 GMT

In 2004, Russian President Vladimir Puttin announced his intentions on returning Russia to a communistic path with him as the ruler for life.To counter this threat, I am establishing an elite company from a regiment of the elite. To join, all you must do is shout, "I, so help me, join the Democracy's Arms!" I will give you a mission to complete, and if you complete it, you will be a member of the Democracy's Arms Brotherhood.Fight Back the Commies strait to Moscow!

The Cranium

Terminal_Civ-er — Fri, 04 May 2007 16:47:46 GMT

[i]*The madman hovers over his find and works. A smile crosses his lips only to be slapped away by the left hand. ....He's right-handed.*[/i]

Barren Keep

Zigeuner — Sun, 01 Apr 2007 16:29:45 GMT

[IMG]http://i152.photobucket.com/albums/s175/solarsinned/Forest.jpg[/IMG]

*mutters to his hounds* Come on lads, leave that skin intact. You'll have yer bellies full soon enough. Big old nasty bugger...

*snarls at tracker slave* Is there no end to this blasted forest? Wolves, bears, what manner of beast will be next... Get us out of here man, now!

The Coerulean Temple of the Eternal Spirit

Locus Coeruleus — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 22:11:13 GMT

[URL=http://imageshack.us][IMG]http://img163.imageshack.us/img163/879/druid1ky8.jpg[/IMG][/URL]

Come Worship With Us.

All Are Welcome.

Please Be Respectful Of The Eternal Spirit That Flows Through All.

The Smuggler's Nest

Rishbhav — Mon, 09 Apr 2007 21:23:34 GMT

[img]http://www.urbanhonking.com/dokuchan/archives/pirate.jpg[/img]

[i]Not far out of Bibracte, an odd shack has sprung up on the riverfront, lowslung and made of hastily put together wood. Official forays into this region have always mysteriously "disappeared", so word is that there is a barbarian encampment. To the few "in the know" however it is so much more....[/i]

Welcome to the Smuggler's Nest, where anything and everything is available for sale to the highest bidder. This is a market of sorts, where anyone can come and sell their wares, and anyone can buy. Anyone "in the know" of course ;). I'll be starting out the market with a few choice items of my own, and I'll be getting more by canoe smuggler daily, so stick around a bit...

Remember of course that since we have no currency exchange will have to be based on barter... Perhaps you would actually like to get something in exchange for your daughter? :P

NOW HIRING!!!!! What's a black market without its contracts? Nothing! We're currently hiring "in house" hitmen to shall we say "fufill" certain contracts......

Now onto my wares:

[img]http://zinken.typepad.com/palaeo/images/WarwickHandaxe.jpg[/img]
This is the epitome of high-tech stealth technology! Notice the grooves in th ehand axe, specially crafted to take apart a man's skull. Take it out, swing it, and WHAM the arguement's over.

[img]http://www.geticagame.com/images/art/celtic_spear.jpg[/img]

Some of my agents have stolen none other than top secret War Department plans for a new top secret weapon codenamed [b][i]The Spear[/i][b]. These plans could very well be yours!

[img]http://fusion.sas.upenn.edu/caterpillar/files/thumbs/DHJanzen100568.jpg[/img]

Falling behind in the Highland Games? Not a problem, just take a whiff of this stuff! Horse dung has been clinically proven to enhance athletic ability, and this is the good stuff, smuggled straight out of the horse pastures of Yinxu!

[img]http://www.hmx-12.net/~virgil7/morrowind/images/skooma.JPG[/img]

Finally, we've got something very special smuggled all the way from the far lands of Morrowind (just east of Atlantis), Skooma! This is the good stuff, and it gives you a high you're not likely to get form any of the Book and Sword nonsense, lets just put it that way....

The Book and Sword Tavern

maniacalmonkey — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 16:10:34 GMT

Welcome to the Book and Sword Tavern! Pull up a... Well, there's no chairs or stools yet. So, erm, squat down by the... Och, there's not really a bar yet either. Well, make yourself comfortable on the floor then. Bring a sheepskin if you're sensitive.

Anyway, to business! Have a gl... Hmm, no glasses. Cup your hands. That's right. Good thing we have ale, at least. Hah! Hope you washed your hands.

If you're feeling a bit of a draft, that's because the Book and Sword Tavern does not exactly have walls either. These cowhides have seen better days. The poles are a bit rickety too so don't lean against them.

Och, the joys of a nomadic existence... Let's hope our enlightened leaders decide on a good spot for us to plonk down soon. In fact, let's drink to that - sláinte!

...And now you've got ale all over your face. Och, to have a proper drinking house!

The Huts of Africanus

Scipio Africanus — Wed, 28 Mar 2007 19:03:09 GMT

Come friends, comrades, tribespeople! Come gather round the campfire in my compound!

My wives will serve you food. My children will entertain you. Let us sit knap flint, and discuss the future of our people.

We Celts have always been a wandering tribe. We have been nomadic since long before our grandmothers, grandmothers made the hunting shrines in the Cave of the Moon Goddess.

We have always known where to go to find food no matter the seaon and no matter the drought.

Whether it was small game, berries, fruits, roots, nuts or cereals, we have always lived well

But the world has changed. With each new generation the elders have whispered to us more and more of the changes they see in the land. Remember the tales of the great Ice Cliffs told to us by our common ancestor Brennus the Brave? Remember how abundant the giant mastodons, and the other big game were reputed to be in our grandmothers, grandmothers day. It has been five seasons since one of our gathering or hunting teams have even SEEN a mastodon track let alone an animal itself. Which of you can claim to be the last one to have helped to kill and harvest such a beast?

The days are longer, the nights less cold, the summers more hot, and even the path of the Sun God across the sky is not the same as when we were children. The world has changed.

Each time a group of our women go out to gather, or a group of our men go out to hunt, we encounter groups from other neighboring tribes. This used to be a RARE occurrence even when we were children. Our grandmother's tales question whether we Celts were the only people in the whole world, so this to seems to have changed. We have more neighbors, who are closer, more numerous, and not always friendly. This most recent incident with the barbarian men threatening our women who were gathering not 2 hours walk from here is perhaps a sign of things to come.

What should we do?

Just a technicality...

Locus Coeruleus — Tue, 27 Mar 2007 20:20:01 GMT

but I don't think we should call the ENTIRE roleplaying section a "Tavern"

Unless the goal of our nation is to be a nation of Alcoholics, we had better call it something more general than a tavern!

just a simple peasants' opinion...