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Day-Saver!
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Day-Saver!
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| American History 101
It was the first day of school and a new student, Suzuki, son of a Japanese businessman, entered the fourth grade class. The teacher said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history."
The teached asked, "Who said, 'Give me Liberty or give me Death'?" She saw a sea of blank faces, except for Suzuki's.
"Patrick Henry 1775," he said.
"Very good! Who said '...government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth'?"
Again, no response, except from Suzuki. "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped, "Class, you should be ashamed. Suzuki, who is new to our country, knows more about its history than you do."
She heard a loud whisper, "Screw the Japs."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Suzuki raised his hand, "Lee Iacocca, 1982."
At that point a student said, "I'm gonna puke."
The teacher glared and asked, "All right! Who said that?"
Suzuki said, "George Bush to the Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Furious, another student yelled, "Oh yeah? Suck this!"
Suzuki jumped up waving his hand and shouted, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997!"
With near mob hysteria, someone screamed, "You little ***. If you say anything else, I'll kill you."
Suzuki yelled, "Gary Condit to Chandra Levy, 2001."
At this, the teacher fainted. The class gathered around her.
One of the kids said, "Oh ***, we're in big trouble!"
Suzuki said, "Arthur Andersen, 2002." |
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HERE I COME TO SAVE THE DAY! |  |  |
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sweetP
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Elite Pathogen
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Grognard fantôme
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Day-Saver!
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die with honor
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| One good thing about the Clintons running for President ... NEW JOKES 
The old priest lay dying in the hospital. For years, he had faithfully served the people of the nation's capital in Washington D.C. He motioned for his nurse to come near.
"Yes, Father?" said the nurse
"I would really like to see President Bill and Senator Hillary Clinton before I die," whispered the priest.
"I'll see what I can do, Father" replied the nurse.
The nurse sent the request to the Senate and waited for a response. Soon the word arrived; the Clintons would be delighted to visit the priest.
As they went to the hospital, Hillary commented to Bill, "I don't know why the old priest wants to see us, but it certainly will help our images and might even get me elected President. After all, I'm IN IT TO WIN IT."
Bill agreed--it was a very good thing for her campaign once they put out a press release about it.
When they arrived at the priest's room, the old priest took Bill's hand in his right hand and Hillary's hand in his left. There was silence and a look of serenity on the old priest's face.
Finally Bill Clinton spoke. "Father, of all the people you could have chosen, why did you choose us to be with you as you near the end?"
The old priest slowly replied, "I have always tried to pattern my life after our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ."
"Amen" said Bill.
"Amen" said Hillary.
The old priest continued..."He died between two lying thieves. I would like to do the same“ |
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Mine honor is my life; both grow in one:
Take honor from me, and my life is done:
Da Bard ... But something tosk would say.
Americans used to roar like lions for liberty; now they bleat like sheep for security.
~ Norman Vincent Peale~
We don't have to live in the kind of America the two Major parties have in store for us.
Together, let us lay the foundations for an America worthy of our Founding Fathers.
~Ron Paul~
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First Lieutenant
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Day-Saver!
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