Well whats the best way to get rid of the body? Well we have a little cook out over the fire under the stars by the seashore. We'll tan up the hide and make a nice little vest. Save the oils but burn the feathers. Well who's that passing by but psweet and he looks distraught. Of course you can have a bite. What's that I call this? Why, um, turkey yes thats it, turkey. And hey look at that, this vest won't fit me, but looks just your size. Try it on, yes perfect fit if I say so. Well I was planning on mixing this here emu I mean turkey oil with some ochre from those hills and dye it a nice shade of red. Yes it should match your whatever you call it there around the waist. Oh a loincloth thats what it is. Very well, have a nice day watch out for those mosquitos they have a horrible bite, by now. *thump* That will likely leave a terrible headache in the morning. Ah, heres some of the Monkey's magic juice, just spill a little here and he'll just think he drank a bit much last night.

Now how to get those things off. Here's a branch. I can use that as I ain't touching the things. *Scrap* *poke* this isn't working out to well. What's that, what am I doing? Is that you Harmony? Well then what are you doing all the way out here? Oh smelled the cooking did you? Would you like a bite? *lightbulb* Yes it does taste very good. And who is that laying on the floor? Senator psweet of course. He's sleeping off a bit of drink. You know I have heard him talking about you in a very romantic way. Haven't you psweet *poke* *nod* Well Harmony I am a judge. Whats that? here and now? well how about it psweet *poke* *nod* very well I now pronounce you man and wife you may now kiss the bride. Oh go ahead and kiss him then Harmony. Good, now let me help you carry him to his hut.

I'll just take this pile of clothes and get them washed for you. And we just sort of let them all fall along the way to the tavern making it look like an evening of drunken impropriety. Ah its good to be young and in love. And whats that at the tavern a pot of water being boiled up and left unattended. Hmmm, drop the drawers in there and stir it with a stick. Wow that took quite a bit of color out of them, almost like a pink now. Add some of that ochre and emu oil and and voila, we have a gentle shade of purple. Maybe not that deep royal type of purple that HD likes, but more lavender in shade. Oh well, purple is purple.

Now back to HD's hut with the bounty. The end result:

*psweet staggers into the tavern*

O good god, me 'ead!  I musta' 'ad a mite too much o' that pig-berry stuff...

*walks over to the group of purple kilt wearers and applicants*

'Ey, you lot, you'll ne'er guess what kind o' strange beast I found layin' in the grass next to me when I woke up.  Made gruntin' sounds like an 'og, but looked more like a grown bull wi'out the 'orns.  I went inside me 'ut and got my sturdy staff an' just as I was about to strike it to lay it out, it got up, roared like you wouldn' believe, and ran off in an 'urry.  Now whaddye suppos'n that'd be. . . ?

(this role playing is get'n down right scary!)

Edit: And if you think this is scary, you know NOTHING about the kinds of things that run through HD's mind.

And a loin cloth is just a primitive thong.

Can I wear chaps beneath the skir.......kilt?

My family is mostly Scotch Irish on my mothers side.  My youngest brother plays the bag pipes in traditional garb.  But he has much nicer knees than I.

Okay...., sign me up, I'll get over it.  Still trying to get over you guys sharing undies tho.

Of course your right about the thong vs loin cloth.  I can only imagine the chaffing going on with thongs. (Not to mention the obligatory bikini wax....we hope!)

I think that's for Grand Master Kilt Blower Historydude to decide mssrs Zone and psweet is it not? I might add that hardly anyone else has asked in the proper manner either.

btw psweet if you're married to Harmony you owe me a necklace, some flint chittlin's and a moon's worth of hunting or some such - whatever Scipio said anyway.